I bought “Craving God” three months ago. It sat on my nightstand for a while before I moved it to the side table in the living room. More than once, I picked it up but each time my attention as called to something else and I abandoned the attempt to crack it open.
Meanwhile, I have been wrestling with food cravings. None of the books I read on breastfeeding prepared me for the insatiable cravings for sweets that I experienced when I stopped nursing Ty and T. With both children, I have struggled to satisfy my post-nursing urge for sweets and processed foods. With Ty I eventually got it under control. Thus far, this second time around, I am struggling.
I have turned to chocolate chip cookies in a major and unhealthy way. And the habit has contributed to a growing waistline and an utter dissatisfaction with my lack of self-control. Slowly I have been sinking deeper and deeper into a discontentment with my choices. I have had thoughts of starting a new exercise program, stop the unhealthy food choices and allowing my personal trainer husband to help me, but I felt so deflated by my abandonment of the last program that I started that I settled into complacency.
While T. napped today I finally opened the book I bought so long ago and the first chapter speaks to my current struggle. I read Lysa’s words on her reliance on food and was immediately convicted. I wanted to scream “Me too” at the page. I know that I have not been making good choices and I know that I need to do better. As she pointed through Scripture, God is loving and patient to bring my lack of self-control to my attention. I read the Scripture passages she shared with conviction and hope. I had read these verses before, but this time they spoke to my lack and urged me to crave God and His love rather than food.
I feel empowered and renewed to pursue excellence in this area of my life once again. The road ahead seems overwhelming, but I am trusting God to see me through and remove any anxiety of failure and insufficiency. In my weakness, I can trust in His strength.
I will document my plan and journey to get my taste buds and waistline under control.
Do you struggle with food?