Bottom line is we all love differently. I remember a time when I was adamant that my husband loves me the way I want to be loved. While there is nothing wrong with asking our spouses to make the extra effort to learn our love languages, we can get so caught up in them “not getting it or expressing love correctly” that we miss the heartfelt expression of their love for us. The moment I stopped placing my husband’s love under strict guidelines, I realized just how many ways he was already loving me.
Caring for my car. I don’t know if he sets calendar reminders to get my car detailed but he always remembers to care for my car. I don’t recall ever taking my own car to the car wash, emissions test or an oil change and I am grateful. Most weeks, he also fills up my tank when he borrows my car and cleans any lingering trash. He has even taught Ty that this is their job and one item Mommy should never have to concern herself with. No complaints here.
Taking out the trash. I am fortunate to be home with the kids for this season. And I know many wives assume that husbands are responsible for the trash. However, this is still a great big help and I am thankful. I never worry about trash day. Hooray for hubby!
Special treats. I love gifts, I do. And he knows it. I get small treats randomly. It could be a chocolate chip cookie from Noodle’s Company, a spinach and artichoke soufflé from Panera Bread or an incredibly cute postcard from one of his trips. These little presents let me know that he had me on his mind.
The 4AM wake up call. He’s an early riser and I’m a night owl. Though I am home with the kids and can “take a quick nap during the day”, he continues to answer the overnight call whenever possible. This is such a blessing to me, and the only way I get any sleep. I pray T. sleeps through the night regularly soon but until he does, I’ll enjoy my husband’s act of service.
Folding the laundry. I have not keen on folding laundry. In fact, I dread it. With four of us, the piles of clean clothes can mount fairly quickly leaving me seriously contemplating rewashing the clean clothes, in order to delay the inevitable. My husband knows this, and many Saturdays, I find him in the basement watching a movie and folding the laundry. There is no better gift than this, and no better way to say “I love you. I want to ease your burdens and be your strength where you are weak.”
While I continue to love flowers, dinner dates and out-of-town trips, I have come to love the “simple” things he does just as much. It has freed him to love me without the fear of whether his display of love is adequate. And in the process, I’ve become more aware of his sentiments and have been blessed his love.
How does your husband communicate his love?